For every country one lives in, summer takes on a different meaning. For most of my life, summers in Texas were characterized by school being out, unbelievably hot days, softball games, the smell of OFF (later to be replaced by the more “natural” versions), fantastic cookouts with friends, outdoor swimming, countless mosquito bites, & last year- many trips to Sea World & the water park.

Now that I am in another country I find myself making new associations with summer. These new associations are no better or worse than the ones experienced in my homeland. They are just different. And living in a country where the one thing you can count on is rain & grey skies, we have been blessed immeasurably so far this year with many days of sunshine, warm temperatures (still cool for Texans) & relatively no rain. So, here is what summer in Wales in 2010 looks like for me.

Summer Is…
Multi-coloured sailboats behind the house glistening in the water

50+ swans (and new baby cignets) congregating for a party in the river

Leaving the back door wide open, not just because you want to get last night’s dinner smell out of the house, but because it is too beautiful not to

Lots of photographs being taken

Those ginormous spiders that have been growing since spring outside all of your windows waiting to catch their prey after it gets dark (at 10pm!)

Feeling the heat in your car on your face when you get in & not even wanting to turn the air on

Summer Is…
Watching your children’s imaginations run wild

Sitting in the car park (parking lot) in front of your house, because you have no yard, with your swimsuit on & just not giving a hoot at how ridiculous you might look to those driving home from work

Seeing the sun shine through your black out blinds way too early in the morning

Barbecues with neighbors where the grill is jammed with steak, sausages, lobster, prawns, & chicken

Summer Is…
Putting musical notes in the air of your drawings

An abundance of British strawberries & wild blackberries

Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin”

Ripped jeans & white fingernail polish

Summer is so, so good.

But of course, as it always does with me, the rose colored glasses were ripped off and smashed in the coming weeks as I experienced culture shock. Thirty two years of living as an American in America versus 2 weeks living as an American in a foreign country. A big, no, a massive shock. There were countless mornings I woke up thinking, “Surely this has been a dream (nightmare more like it). What have I just gotten myself into?”

And the days past. The weeks past. And now I can say that the years have past. My baby Brooks who was one, wearing diapers (nappies), chewing on a pacifier (dummy), and just grunting is now a fully functioning 5 year old. And he has done almost all of his growing up in Wales.

I too, have done a lot of growing up in Wales. Not that I thought that I needed to grow up, but when you are out of your comfort, your familiarity, your homeland, you just simply do some growing up. The situation forces you too.

I am learning that there is a lot of learning to be done. You may be an expert at getting on in your culture, but when you step outside into something very unfamiliar, you are on a steep learning curve. And where you consider yourself an intelligent, educated person, in your new culture you will feel stupid, especially at the beginning. And chances are you will sound stupid and look stupid at times too. I am learning that to live in a different culture you need to be ok with people stopping and staring when you speak because that Texas twang sure causes interest.

It took me two years to learn that math in school was pronounced “maths” and 3 years to learn that they do sell sink stoppers for your kitchen sink. (One didn’t come with my house so I assumed they just didn’t have those and suffered for years without). And I have learned from experience, that no matter what you think, that red cord hanging from the store bathroom ceiling is not the toilet flusher, but the fire alarm that activates the store alarm and sprinkler system.

I have learned to laugh at myself a lot and have even been guilty of laughing at my husband’s cultural mishaps on occasion. I have learned to love learning information about the culture and people that I live around. I have learned that I couldn’t just get over culture shock, but had to be patient and walk through it.

I have learned most of all, that I when I just want to hurry up, take the fast track through whatever God is trying to teach me so I can arrive quickly with as little pain, His preference might possibly be for me to sometimes take the long route in learning something. Because when this happens, it produces true transformation and true character change.

These four years in Wales have been nothing short of an adventure. I can look back 4 years ago and rejoice remembering the smiles and tears of living in a foreign land. I am so thankful that God has been beside me every step of the way, whether I realized it or not. This experience is something I would not trade for the world.

I always knew that there would come a day when I had children of my own that my child would turn 8 and that day would be a big deal for me. Today that day has come. My oldest child, Harper, turns 8.

Harper has been lovely from the moment she was born. An excellent daughter to Brad and me, and a fantastic sister to Brooks. She is everything I ever thought having a daughter would be and more. She is a gentle spirit with a confident fire in her about who she is. I love that about her. Even though she is the lone American (along with her brother) in her school, she is fine with who she is. The other day when someone was bugging her brother at school she marched over to that person, looked them in the face, and said, “You need to stop that now because I really care for my brother.” I think she is so strong as I see her thriving in a different culture.

Harper loves organization. She adores taking out old papers and cards and arranging them. She loves making collages out of magazine sweet images. She is the kid who likes to start coloring at the beginning of the coloring book and then goes in order. Harper loves reading, loves copying poetry, and now writes her own (not even in school, but on her own time). She loves traveling and learning about different cultures. Harper asks deep questions, but loves sharing and hearing funny stories from her parents. She absolutely adores dinnertime conversation and reminiscing (if one can do that at such a young age).

We have been so blessed by this little lady since God brought her into our lives in May of 2002. God has given her such a teachable spirit and a heart that loves Him and wants to do His will. So, today we will celebrate our 8 year old, Harper Claire. The most lovely girl we know.

To settle down to sleep we would often find ourselves sitting his bouncy chair underneath the kitchen exhaust fan or placing him in the bathroom (for a short while) with the exhaust fan on as well. Within a couple of months he was pushing himself to standing up while strapped into his bouncy chair. This guy found a way to wiggle out of things. And he would get his leg moving in that bouncy chair and it would rock so hard and almost fall over. When he sat up for the first time I was delighted that I would have several lovely months (as I did with the daughter) to enjoy him sitting, but not moving around the house getting in to things. But then a couple of weeks later he was crawling! As soon as he could stand he found his sister’s doll highchair, got behind it and zoomed all over the house. His grunts and coos were constant and it seemed he could never calm himself down, nor sleep through the night. This was a new adventure to me.

And (as a former hyperactive child and strong willed one) I was reading Dr. Dobson’s “The Strong Willed Child” learning how to possibly parent him differently than the first. I had assumed a lot of him in the 12 short months he was alive.

And then a year came. And things totally changed. He slept through the night. No more fist pumping and endless crying. He was walking and so much happier and he was talking….a lot and all of the time. He put words together quickly into sentences and then into phrases and then into complex thoughts. I can only think he had so much to say that first year that he just wasn’t able to get out.

And since that first hard year since his birth, we have had the most delightful following four years. This may sound cliche, but to know this guy is to love him. To us (grandparents & sister included) he is one of the most interesting individuals we have ever met. His thoughts are so intriguing and complex. He wakes up in the morning ready to go for the day and he plays….every minute he can. In fact, when we took a short trip overnight he cried when we arrived at the hotel, because he didn’t “get his playtime in.” He loves his sister dearly and holds his own playing with her despite the age difference.

Those who teach him in class or come across him often get a twinkle in their eye when they speak of him. He finds humor in things and loves adventure and travel. His heart is so tender and he always tells you (and often others–cringe) exactly what is on his mind. He will challenge you on your knowledge of animals and he always has time for cuddling with mom and dad. He breaks out in “expressive dance” regularly when you are not looking. Several years ago while singing “Living La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin he said “Living Va Lida Locust”. Nothing says it clearer.

When I think of the past 5 years of his life, my overarching feeling and thought is, “Thank you Lord for this wonderful gift of our son. How did we ever get so blessed to be his parents?” So today, happy 5th birthday Young Jedi. You are truly amazing.

-julie

God had planned the timing because she died, much to my shock, on the very day our family was in flight over the Atlantic Ocean back to Wales. My mom took her to the doctor that morning after taking us to the airport only to find out that another tumor was growing. After struggling with her food for days, by night she was barely reacting. When you only weigh 3.5 pounds, days of little food have a great effect on your body.

I have to admit that it was a strange homecoming to Wales mourning the death of one’s beloved dog.

It was always hard for us leaving her in Texas with my parents when we moved to Wales because we knew it would be a dreadful adjustment for her coming to Wales, but God had amazing grace on Brad and I as we were able to enjoy her fully for the 6 months we spent in the US. She was happy and herself until the very end and loved our children very much.

I said goodbye to her on the morning we left the country, knowing that I would never see her again, but God, in his extreme kindness allowed me to be with her for all of her last days. And how amazing was that?

My parents were saints through it all and loved her immensely. They had to say goodbye to their children and grandchildren as they left on a plane in the morning and goodbye forever to their precious little adopted dog as night came around. What wonderful memories we have with such a small dog who held a large place in our heart.

-julie

Goodbye store bought sushi…..hello homemade!

Several years ago my family began sponsoring a little girl through World Vision that is the same age as our daughter. This year we’ve started sponsoring a little boy the same age as our son. For us, it’s a great way to be involved in the life of a child in need, for our children to get a sense that the world is a very small place, and to live out our call to be Jesus in all spheres and domains of life.

More information: Compassion International // World Vision

Click here to view the embedded video.

I haven’t been shocked by much since it has only been three years since we have lived in America. But because I have gotten used to the way things were in Wales, several things continue to surprise me:

–the size of apples are absolutely huge. I have a constant internal battle to whether I should eat 1/2, 3/4, or a whole one for lunch. They look abnormal to me.

–whoever that Ed Hardy guy is, people must like him because his name is on everything…notebooks, beach towels, fragrance, clothing, etc. Everywhere I look, there is his stuff. I am assuming he is very rich by now.

–the endless supply of hot water to shower, do laundry, and do dishes is wonderful. For the past 3 years I have been treating my use of limited hot water in my house in Wales like a new mother feeding her newborn: very scheduled. Each day I would have to mentally work out what I was going to wash and be careful not to use too much hot water in bathing or even cleaning the house, or the hot water would run out, only to be replenished by pushing “Boost” and then seeing the cost reflected in our next bill. Being able to to do many loads of laundry (quickly too), take a shower, and wash dishes and rinse them in hot water from the faucet, not the kettle, makes me giddy. I don’t even mind those once dreaded tasks.

-the sunshine is amazing. Even though we have come back at the hottest time of the year, having predictable sunshine just touches that happy place in my soul. I don’t even care that I am hot and sweating. At least it is predictable. I just simply do not know how the Brits do it with so much rain and so much grey. They are amazing people. When it is sunny in Wales, we run to the window to soak it in, we stop everything we are doing to go outside, and we cram in as many things into that time outside. Because we know it may be days (and in the winter, weeks) before we will see it again.

I guess the question becomes, how can I limit the damage and increase the benefit of my time with my children? I’m under the assumption that all, maybe most is more accurate, fathers hope to grow their children up into responsible adults. That they would contribute to society in a meaningful way. That they would make a difference in the world around them. That they would create positive change. Regardless of worldview or religious bent I would like to think that all fathers hold these basic goals out in front of their children.

But it’s at this point that things change for me. You see, I approach the world around me from a Biblical worldview. I would say “Christian” worldview but the word “Christian” has lost all meaning. The word most likely doesn’t mean the same thing for you that it does for me, and therefore isn’t helpful to be used in this case. I’m a follower of Jesus. Because I follow Jesus it shapes the way I view the world around me. It shapes the way I serve and lead my wife and children. And my hope and desire is that ultimately it will impact the way my kids view me…the way they will remember me. And to the extent that I don’t follow the ways of Jesus closely, they will recognize and remember the damage that I’ve done to them.

It is to this end that I strive towards, that in me my children would see Jesus. That they would know of His love for them. That they would know that I exist as their father to point them to Him. And so here are a couple of things I try to remember as I lead my children in this way:

• that I am to love the Lord my God with all my heart, will all my soul, and with all my mind, and with all my strength
• that I am to love others as I love myself
• that I should be quick to listen
• that I should be slow to speak
• that I should be slow to become angry
• that I’m not to provoke them to anger
• and that I’m to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord

That’s a tall order…but I do not do it under my own strength. Thank God.